As I was prepping dinner today, I told Alexa to play worship music. Little did I know, she arranged a playlist (probably unknowingly) with a recurring theme: God’s sovereignty. His perfect plans. I was reminded of how much he intricately designs each moment in our lives for His glory. I thought about how He intimately calls us into faith-testing situations–trials, …
Hope in the Waiting
You guys know I walked through some very difficult years as we were trying to start a family. Infertility is no joke. During that time, I didn’t have many friends who had walked through it. In fact, it seemed as if literally all of my friends were getting pregnant. I couldn’t find very many resources to help me cope and deal …
Finding Out
Those 3 minutes felt like 3 years. I forced myself to go into the other room so I wouldn’t be tempted to check it early. We had been waiting for this for SO LONG. That tiny white stick held my future. I mean, we had been trying for like THREE MONTHS! This had to be it. Or else something was …
Unexpected
One year ago we were devastated to find out that I had miscarried my second baby. The pain, confusion, doubt, and agony were almost unbearable. If someone had told me in that moment that I would have three baby girls the following year, I would have laughed and said he was crazy. But God knew all along that this was …
Life Lately
I never would have imagined that the last 18 months would turn out the way they have. I was thinking this evening about all that has happened and was almost in shock that I’ve made it through with some sort of sanity left. Sometimes I catch myself saying, “I don’t know how we got through that–” and then I stop myself. …
Why share?
Infertility and miscarriage have been viewed in the past as something you just don’t talk about. People tend to be very private about these matters. And to be honest, so was I. In the first six months of trying to get pregnant, I really didn’t tell anyone. Even after our first loss, I didn’t tell people for months. It wasn’t …
Mourning Miscarriage
Last month was very difficult to face. It was a month filled with baby showers and finding out more friends were pregnant. It was a month of scheduling more doctor appointments and running more tests. And it was the month that my first baby would have been born. I cannot even begin to tell you how difficult it was to …
Washed White as Snow
Today marks the 7th snow day in a row for Knoxville. I haven’t worked in a long time, and I’m loving every second of it! I’ve gotten to watch the Today Show, drink lots of coffee, rest, watch movies, and spend lots of time in the Word. It’s been amazing. I do miss my babies at school, but I could …
Waiting & Longing
Have you ever wanted something so badly that it was all you could think about? Had a desire in your heart that literally drove you to do everything in your power in order to attain that one thing? I think back to my childhood when I was so excited about Christmas morning. I remember waiting at the top of the …