As I was prepping dinner today, I told Alexa to play worship music. Little did I know, she arranged a playlist (probably unknowingly) with a recurring theme: God’s sovereignty. His perfect plans. I was reminded of how much he intricately designs each moment in our lives for His glory. I thought about how He intimately calls us into faith-testing situations–trials, hardships, pain, suffering, waiting–and draws us nearer to himself in the process. Each moment in our lives is perfectly orchestrated, and whether we see it then or not, He is doing something through it.
For a little while, I kind of unintentionally ignored my past. I’ve been so consumed with what I have now (my three precious babies) that I sorta forgot about the pain I experienced to get there. Recently, God has reminded me that He brought me through that for a reason. He’s intentionally placed women in my life who are struggling with infertility right now. I’ve done two interviews for other bloggers lately who wanted to share my story. Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE sharing my story and I love any chance I get to walk with others through this. I am confident that this is the ministry He is calling me to. But it has also stirred up that pain again. It’s rekindled feelings that I’ve compartmentalized lately. I still get teary-eyed just thinking about how difficult those years were. That will always be a part of me, and it will never go away. Even though God chose to bless me immensely in the end, I still can’t ignore what he did for me/in me/through me during those years.
So, back to today! As I listened to song after song with the most beautiful, hopeful, encouraging, and challenging lyrics, I couldn’t help but be reminded that He is calling me to share this hope with others. He calls you to deep waters where your faith is tested beyond belief. And yet he sweetly and gently draws you into Himself through the hardship. I’m so thankful for His gentle reminders of His promises, and for stirring up something in my heart through this! (See the end of this post!)
Below are some lyrics that stood out to me today. I’ve also linked the songs so you may listen to them in their entirety.
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”
“What if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?”
But I know we’re all searching
For answers only you provide
‘Cause you know just what we need
Before we say a word
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us“
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I’ve got is hurt and these four words
Thy will be done.
Thy will be done!
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not, So
Thy will be done.
Thy will be done!”
“So let the waters rise
I will stand as the oceans roar
Let the earth shake beneath me
Let the mountains fall
You are God over the storm
And I am Yours”
Through multiple conversations with other women lately, and MUCH prayer, it is clear that the Lord is calling me to lead a ministry for women dealing with infertility and miscarriage. I am confident He has placed this passion in my heart, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it soon! Stay tuned, and please reach out to me if you would like to be involved!