Finding Out

Those 3 minutes felt like 3 years. I forced myself to go into the other room so I wouldn’t be tempted to check it early. We had been waiting for this for SO LONG. That tiny white stick held my future. I mean, we had been trying for like THREE MONTHS! This had to be it. Or else something was wrong.

My timer went off, and it was time to find out if my world was about to be rocked. Boy, did it get rocked. Granted, it took two more years, but it sure got rocked!

((Fast forward through two miscarriages, several treatments, and probably around 84 pregnancy tests.))

Those 3 minutes felt like 3 years. Again, I forced myself not to look too early as if that would affect the results somehow. I’ve taken this test so many times I could do it in my sleep. I had the routine down pat. I knew what three minutes felt like even without a timer. Finally it was time to check. I couldn’t believe it. Did I read it right?? It says positive, but really… does it? Yes, it says POSITIVE! That means I’m pregnant. OMG. Is this really happening? Wait a minute…. I’ve been here before and it didn’t end well. What if I lose this one too? Is this time finally different? Oh please, Lord, let this one be different. Please, God, I beg you, let me keep this one!

For the past 23 months, I had planned a Pinterest-worthy way of telling Brandon I was pregnant. Here’s my thought process: “Screw that, I’ll just show him the stick! Call him right now. Nahhh, I’ll wait till he gets home and tell him in person. He’s gonna flip. Okay, there’s no time for cuteness. I’ll put the stick on the table so he sees it right when he walks in. Oh, I’ve got that little UT onesie we bought for our second baby. I’ll put that next to the stick. Alright, I guess that looks cute enough. Oh for heaven’s sake, when is he gonna get here??? He always takes forever. (Called him about 4 times asking when he was coming home. I can be an annoying wife, but I’m sure he thought I was particularly annoying on this day.) OK, he’s on his way home! YESSSSS!” (Proceeded to stand next to the window for 12 minutes watching for his car to pull onto our street. I really had nothing better to do.)

Y’all. His face. His reaction. His excitement. We both lost it. We both had an overwhelming feeling that this time was different. This was really it. We were going to keep this one.

Yeah, we had no idea.

I called my fertility specialist’s office to tell them the news and get the process started! I went in for bloodwork a few days later to confirm the pregnancy. When the nurse called back with the results, she told me what my HCG count was. “That sounds really high…. does that mean there’s a chance for multiples???” Her response, “No, I think that’s about normal for one baby.” HA! Ha. ha. Yeah, okay.

We told our parents and families. I threw up in a restaurant bathroom and told a complete stranger about our news because I didn’t want her to think I was bulimic. We were ecstatic!

Brandon went with me for my first ultrasound. I’ve never felt butterflies in my tummy like that. I just knew that with our luck, something wouldn’t be right. I was terrified. I was excited.

“Hm. There’s a few babies in there!”

“………………………..Um……………What?”

“Yeah, you’ve got one, two, three babies in there. You’re having triplets!”

Complete shock. Like, I honestly did not have words. I knew they had warned us that the medications and treatments increased our chances of multiples, but there’s no way that would happen to us! Is this really happening? OMG…… Like…… what??

Meanwhile, Brandon is in the corner cheering and planning our 5-person basketball team, family band, and who knows what else.

I cried on the way home. I thought this was going to be impossible. This was definitely not how I planned it. I planned to have my one little baby that I could take anywhere with me. I could still go on lunch dates with people, go to the grocery, carry my one cute baby on my hip into church. But, now, I mean, how do I do all that with three babies??? They won’t fit in our house! OMG their nursery… I can’t fit all the necessary cuteness in that tiny bedroom we have! What about my new car I just got!? Three carseats just won’t fit! THIS IS NOT HOW I PLANNED IT!!

Fast forward again….. Y’all know how much I love my babies. They are the greatest blessing in our lives. Yes, I’m the crazy lady carrying three huge carseats into church on Sunday morning. Yep, I’m stuck at home most days because it’s too difficult to get out in between feedings. Yeah, I miss out on some events because it wouldn’t be feasible to take all three girls there. But, NO, I would not change a single thing. These little angels are my world now, and they bring far more joy than the life I thought I wanted.